Classic DF – 5/31/02

May 31, 2002: [•] India and Pakistan are on the verge of nuclear war. The US and UK are asking all their citizens to leave the area ASAP. [•] Lance Bass (N’ Sync) has been medically cleared to go into space. [•] Three people died on Oregon’s Mount Hood. [•] The fourth installment in the Indiana Jones series is a go. [•] I love you wife and daughter (My cats are evil so they aren’t getting any of my love today YO!). [•] A mother whose 5-year old child was thrown out of a Catholic school for her being a stripper has decided to pose naked for Playboy. Yee-ha! [•] Three employees of NEC Toshiba Space System Co. have been arrested and charged with spying on rival companies by hacking into their networks. [•] Bored? Maybe it’s time then to learn a new valuable skill that will change your life forever. Discover the Art of Bullshitting. You too can amaze your friends and family as you rattle on about subjects that you have no idea about like you studied them for years at a prestigious college. Never again will you be left out of the fold when conversation turns intellectual. You will not only own the room; you’ll own the room’s momma! — flAnnelmAn

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Classic DF – 10/20/01

October 20, 2001: [•] The Taliban claim to have shot down a US helicopter, but the US military says no one was hurt during military operations. Officials did say however that 2 soldiers were killed in a non-combat accident. War is Hell, people. [•] Germany has issued a warrant for Moroccan Zakariya Essabar who they believe helped create a terrorist ring related to the September 11th attacks. [•] Palestinians clashed with Israeli troops leaving 4 people dead. [•] The UK is mulling over whether or not to resume direct rule over Northern Ireland again. [•] An unidentified person left a bomb in a Pakistan airport, but a bomb squad managed to place the device in an area where it could safely explode. [•] An Omaha, Nebraska student died from injuries incurred during a bus crash. [•] A New York Times reporter in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil received a letter tainted with anthrax. [•] Robert Durst, a wealthy real estate owner, has been arrested and charged with murdering a neighbor. [•] A suitcase full of explosives is found after no one claimed the suitcase it was stored from a bus station locker. [•] Would-be anthrax jokesters find out what is really funny– watching their facial expressions when they are sentenced to life in prison for being asswipes! [•] Do you really think that children of people killed by an airplane ramming into a building want to fly? I don’t think so. [•] Halloween is on the way… oh joy. [•] Oakland International Airport in California will begin scanning faces in crowds and using a database to match them up with known criminals. [•] Who let the lemurs out? [•] A second New Jersey US Postal worker tests positive for anthrax exposure. [•] Apple joins that latest trend of MP3 devices that stream data to stereos without wires. [•] IBM wants to make computers take care of themselves. [•] It is really unlikely that anyone in Smalltown Anywhere, USA will be targeted with anthrax. These nutjobs are after the big dogs, if you know what I mean. [•] A woman is stabbed and strangled in Port Jervis, NY. [•] Highland Falls will hold its Fall Foliage Festival today, the City of Kingston celebrates 350 years of existence, Republican Orange County Executive nominee Edward Diana will not be able to attend an environmental forum since he was never formally invited, Laura Fox gets sentenced to 32 days-23 months in Pike County Jail for being caught DWI 3 times in 3 hours, and West Point hosts a display on historic military pieces. [•] Ozzie and Zombie talk to MTV’s Curly want-to-be. [•] Macromedia is suing Adobe for patent infringement. [•] UK police close off an area for a serious situation. [•] A UK soldier is killed in Sierra Leone. [•] Pocket rocket shoot out. [•] The Lexus IS300 Sport Cross rules. [•] A Mazda Miata on Slim Fast. [•] Microsoft’s Digital Rights Management software has been hacked. Microsoft claims it’s no big deal and that they can correct the issue. [•] MP3.com has split into 2 companies. [•] Once copper runs hit their maximum potential speed in PCs fiber may be the only hope to increase computing speeds. [•] Li’l Pooh has gotten her first tooth! [•] Mervernation.com’s server is getting a new case. [•] Bored? Well, it isn’t going to get any better. In fact, it gets worse: Check out “bizarre pictures”. I personally like the baby flipping me off. It reminds me of my own sweet Li’l Pooh 🙂

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Classic DF – 7/2/01

July 2, 2001: [•] So much for a Mideast cease fire. [•] VP Cheney returns to work after receiving a pacemaker. [•] The IRA has been accused of not disarming. [•] So much for a Macedonia cease fire. [•] Hong Kong celebrates 4 years of Chinese rule. [•] A bomb exploded in a theater in Karachi, Pakistan killing 1 person. [•] Algerian rebels kill 6 people at a night club. [•] South Africa buries the last Rain Queen. [•] Argentina has put a warrant out for ex-Navy Captain Alfredo Astiz for torturing and killing pregnant women. [•] Gun fights in Kashmir leave 7 people dead. [•] Iran has arrested 11,892 drug addicts and traders, not to mention killed 9 drug traffickers in a major 4 day drug crackdown. [•] Forget Delia’s! The main attraction in Saudi malls is the beatings. [•] A teen picks up a hand grenade left over from a 1994 civil war in Yemen and gets blown up. [•] Japanese police may issue a warrant for a US soldier believed to have raped a woman. [•] A man killed 2 of his children and critically injured another before being shot dead by police in Syracuse, New York. [•] A car is hit by a train killing 5 people. [•] Tampa, Florida is using 36 cameras to scan crowds for wanted people. [•] A prostitute admits to killing 6 people in Florida. [•] Famous guitarist Chet Atkins has died. He was 77. [•] Dust from Africa is crossing the Atlantic Ocean and bringing germs to the US. [•] Sony drops the price of the Playstation 2 to $280. [•] Japan Telecom launches a Mini-disc music download service at train stations. [•] Cisco routers and switches running the IOS HTTP server are vulnerable to hackers. A patch is available to fix the issue. [•] Microsoft is dropping Smart Tags from Windows XP and Internet Explorer 6. [•] Scientists believe there is a link between testicular cancer and infertility. [•] ICQ gets hacked. [•] Smells like… crap. [•] Major thunderstorms take out power and phone service in the Mid-Hudson. [•] Jack C. Morgan is charged with the negligent homicide of his brother, two men are charged with burglary, a riot almost breaks out in Newburgh, a man runs from cops for no reason, and an auto accident leaves 2 people in bad shape. [•] Courtney Love continues to be a huge bitch and insist she is the sole owner of Nirvana’s music. Hello! Courtney you were no where to be found when Kurt Cobain hooked up with Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic. You’re a greedy self-centered liar. I can see making sure Francis (Cobain’s son) gets something, but she deserves nothing. [•] Ministry turns up in A.I. and kicks some major robot ass! [•] Hey! I patented the wheel first! [•] The 2002 35th Anniversary Camaro will be Chevy’s last run of the car. [•] Nissan revises its Z concept. [•] The NICB says that import cars cause insurance fraud (No comment). [•] A guitar lesson from Edge of U2. [•] The uphill battle against porn and search engines. [•] Intel says that 1.8GHz and 1.6GHz Pentium 4 processors should be available to you right now. [•] Azazel and I went to the Warwick Fire Department’s carnival this past weekend. It was all right. The fireworks, however, were awesome. I still hate carnies though. 🙂 [•] We even saw Immy! [•] And Mermaid! [•] And Verona! [•] And Flying Moose! [•] Hey, that’s a run on sentence! [•] Finally, the brand spanking new V.90 Help is up and running for your nerd loving pleasure.

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