January 16, 2004: [•] I’m going to say what I’ve wanted to say for over a year. Right now I’m invulnerable in my head:

So far away from here
the piece of mind I yearn for.
So blown away from fear
the world I run from.
And you I know I crave
like the drug I affix to the beat of the drum.
Here away from hate
where one cannot run.

It’s so blown away
like nitrogen suffocating.
I’m so torn by fame
and the world I’m hating.

So fix yourself on dapper putrid fame
like Nicki could run from.
But hate is full of pain
defecate the one son.
Hate the final plea
guilty like you and me.
Fixation on oxygen high
like global warming in the sky.
Martyr this is but one pledge.
Death is but the offer I rebate too.
And here comes that embrace
the one I fear to ask you for.

It’s so blown away
I’m so torn by fame
and the world I’m hating…
suffocating in nitrogen to oxygen
so here to die.

One world away from you.
What you sent and said.
Offering global announcement policy
on freedom offers.
Like flight 128 I grow weary
from the sad deliverance within/
So choke in from here
and await my new salvation.

Suffocating
suffocating
suffocating
awaiting the last breath|
when nitrogen become the oxygen

Suffocating in her for you to me
blown away by the fear
invincible in the offer.