Classic DF – 3/1/04

March 01, 2004: [•] Today was awesome. I had a great time just hanging out with V. Work went good. Wrestling at Immy’s was just great. Okay, so I tripped on ice during a walk at lunch time and managed to bruise myself up pretty bad. Fine some of the stuff I did today at work didn’t work out perfect. Yeah, I’ve got some crud to deal with in my life and everything is kind of loopy right now. Today felt like Spring though. It was truly a new day. This is my new philosophy: I will take each day as a new day. This is also my vow for Lent. To let the day just go as it is and be happy for whatever I get out of it. Good or bad– I am finally at peace with myself again.

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Classic DF – 2/29/04

February 29, 2004: [•] I managed to lose the person I was in love with, but gain a friend better than I could imagine in that same person. It has been a day of true duality. For me that should be natural. I’m a Gemini and duality of self is something I have lived with my entire life. Nevertheless I find myself confused with the occurrences of today and their meaning in life. For the first time a door has opened up into tomorrow and it scares me because I do not know what any of this means. I’m lost. I’m scared. I’m not alone though and that is the odd part. Though I have managed to isolate myself like never before I am, for the first time in months, not alone. What now? I have answered the question of who exactly really does love me and why, but at the same time I have no idea what to do with my life. I have no idea where I am heading. I am, for a lack of better understanding, a vagrant in this world without a true home or purpose. My life is a blank slate. I am afraid to write anything on it. I might mar it. I might write something I don’t believe truly in. I might fail to keep the promises I make. I am at a beginning and I hate it because endings are so much more decisive. Yet an hour ago I would have said the exact opposite; I would have said I hate the end because it’s so much harder than the beginning and that saying good-bye is too hard for me to do. You figure it out because like I said– I can’t. Duality, it runs my world today.

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Classic DF – 2/20/04

February 20, 2004: [•] I’m not sure why this is somewhat funny but it just is:

  • Her: Why do you have to keep bringing up the past over and over?
  • Me: I’m sorry. I don’t know. I tend to dwell on stuff.
  • Her: You just got to stop though.
  • Me: Okay, you’re right. I won’t keep bringing up the past over and over. You’ve got to promise me you’ll help though by making sure we don’t bring all the bad stuff up over and over.
  • Her: What?! No, it’s okay to rehash things– just don’t dwell on it. Make your point and move on to something else.

That may just be the best advice I’ve ever been given and I’m not being sarcastic. At the same time it’s also brutally honest and that makes it ironically funny. Just thought I’d share. Also stay away from perfumes that when inhaled set your sinuses on fire. I’ve never known mace to turn on me, but apparently some perfume designer thought it would be funny to market it as sexy and then put it out as an Estee Lauder scent. The reason? That’s beyond me.

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Classic DF – 2/18/04

February 18, 2004: [•] On second thought, life isn’t that bad after all. It’s just different somewhat, but it’s all okay that way. Learning to say I’m sorry is hard for me, but because I truly feel that way it is worth the risk of doing so. Still love sucks sometimes. It really does.. I won’t give up.

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Classic DF – 1/25/04

January 25, 2004: [•] This weekend wasn’t too bad considering all the crud leading up to it. I had an awesome time with my daughter. I really look forward to the weekends because that is really the only time I get to spend with her. I’m lucky to have such a wonderful child. She is extremely caring and really just has this incredible amount of love that she wants to share with everybody. After bringing my daughter home to her mother’s house I finished up this weekend over at Immy‘s doing the wrestling thing. Mermaid was also there. Kara managed to sit through an hour of wrestling (which I’m sure for her is a lifetime considering she rues the word “wrestling” much less having to watch it). This month was WWE Royal Rumble. For me the Royal Rumble is my second favorite WWE PPV of the year (Wrestlemania being my first) and every year the show always turns out to be the cream of the crop. It really sets the tone for the rest of what we, as fans, can expect for the rest of the year. This year was no different. The highlights for me were the excellent blade jobs by Triple H and Shawn Michaels. I don’t think the term “crimson mask” could describe the amount of plasma leaked on the part of each wrestler. I think the more proper term would be “crimson cloak”. It was insane. The Royal Rumble match itself was great. Chris Benoit came from behind as the number one entry in a match of thirty men and won. The timing was excellent on the part of most of the wreslters for a crap job by Big Show (if he had strings attached to him and the WWE trainers guiding him he still couldn’t keep up) and the stupid French guy who’s name I don’t even find worth my time to try to remember when he too blew a great spot. Once again, otherwise everyone else did a great job. McFoley showed up for the cheap pop and beat the crap out of Randy Orton, which was just great in and of itself. Kurt Angle wrestled the best he could after major surgery and he gets props for even showing up. There was a couple of clear build ups for Wrestlmania in March. The first is Kane verses Undertaker (there was a “mystery” bong that went off prior to Spike Dudley’s entrance). The second was Brock showing up to F-5 Goldberg and Goldberg screaming “Your next” at him. The final was the massive effort on Orton’s part to beat down Benoit before Orton was eliminated by McFoley. That just screams Evolution verses Benoit and is an obvious lead in to his match verse Triple H at the foresaid Wrestlemania. So I’m content with at least knowing that I enjoyed a few hours of mindless entertainment to get my mind off all the bull that is going on in my life and on top of that had a great time with my daughter the two days prior to that. Tomorrow it’s back to the horrid stress I dare call a job of late, but that’s life I guess and it’s all part of growing up. Great, now I sound like a Blink 182 song . 🙂

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