December 11, 2003: [•] I can tell you four things right now: 1.) I’m re-launching this site. 2.) It’s going to be special. Like short bus special. 3.) New music will follow shortly, but that’s something else. 4.) I can count no higher than the number 4. With that, I end this post… BAM!
December 05, 2003: [•] Thanksgiving was good. Everything is good. Can’t complain– so I won’t. 😉
November 24, 2003: [•] Musing on something: Personal decisions. They are the hardest to make because they are the ones closest to our hearts. Things of life and love, those are the things that not only draw us on, but also pull us apart from the inside. Hate and fear are the things that stop us from ever making a change in the first place, but they are right there with wisdom. Wisdom is the counterbalance of intelligence, which is what we know as reality. Reality is fading into memories and sometimes with self-denial becomes the disillusioned wisdom we hold dear. Courage is the ability to look within yourself and to do the right thing no matter how much you fear doing it. The right thing is sometimes wrong in the eyes of others because their experience holds that isn’t what one should do in your given reality. Thus you are wrong and they are right because majority always rules when it comes to developing a society even if in your eyes it is they who are wrong. Our society develops out of love, fear, wisdom, intelligence, and courage; but is often wrought with self-denial. We hold our history as our redeeming truth of its worth, but that too can become distorted by our own self-righteous opinions. It takes a rebel to make a change thus. Someone who thinks outside the society yet holds its core truths close to their own heart. One who is willing to rise above the accepted truth and take challenge to what others think. One who is willing to risk it all to obtain truth and only truth. One who is willing to love purely despite all the fear, truth, and opinions of others. Do any of us has what it takes to be that one person?
November 14, 2003: [•] A lot has gone on in the past month. Too much to recall in one post and most of it is of no interest to you the web viewer. Just mundane everyday stuff that I dare call my life. Work is insane. The workload is near the point of break, but that is my industry and it is something I love. I’ve been fixing a lot of issues lately and resolving many long standing situations that needed addressing. It feels good to know that the network is healthier today than when I found it and that new products are on their way because of some personal effort on my part. I cannot deny that we are a team at work and I have become a team leader of sorts. Once again I assume the role of the trench Sergeant and try to lead those I’m placed in charge of to victory. The road will be bumpy. Our competition is also launching new projects. It is go time on the battlefield that is IT communications and I am smack dab in the middle. I’ve been spending a lot of time with Gette. We have truly bonded on a new level just by spending so much time together. She’s so bright and beautiful. I took off this past week and dedicated it to her. 24/7 of nothing, but giving her my personal attention, which is what she deserves. With work sometimes I feel she gets lost in the background. This is my way of making those lost minutes up to her. I appreciate the understanding of not only my employer, but my ex-wife too. Both have been patient in my rather unique living situation that is single fatherhood and both deserve kudos for their continued efforts to work with me. I thank you all. This week has been of one of quietness. The last couple of weeks someone was following me. I’m not even kidding. It was a PI of sorts clearly tracking me for whatever reason. They have since stopped. I don’t do anything wrong and my life is rather boring. I have nothing to hide. I proud of my pure normality. In a world gone mad I am one of the few exceptions of sanity because I refuse to succumb to the sickness that is our society. Weeks ago in a post below I talked about rebirth and the new me. I haven’t lost any of that. I am different. Some like it. Others don’t. What is reality is real and we cannot go back from it. We must keep moving forward and inevitably some will be lost in the confusion. I’m sorry. There is no stopping now. Evolution is revolution and this is it. I slid off the road two weeks back. Ended up all of five feet from somebody’s house. I hit some leaves with my car on a bad rural turn and was launch into a tailspin. Damn near almost bit it I reckon. Reflections abound from that experience. I thank God for good reflexes and driving skill. I could have not been allowed to post this post had I actually found that house with my domicile seeking missile that is the ZX3. Someone out there obviously is either looking out for me or knows I have more work here to do. Either way I’m grateful to God above for allowing me to type this to you all. Like I said there is many other misadventures to talk about, but those are minuscule compared to the rest. The new music is literally beyond all belief. No one gets it that I’ve showed so far. I don’t care. The next wave will even be more out there. I’m looking at a break through in musical creativity. Like I said, evolution is revolution. And the time to revolt is now. Rise up and be counted.
October 11, 2003: [•] My life has reached an evolutional plateau. I am quite happy by this. Now that change has stagnated I can focus on who I am and what I believe. I can follow my set course of action and stick to my ideals. Things are excellent. For the first time in a long time I am not only happy, but content too. Yes content and happy. My life is back in full effect. I have decided after the result of this year’s impromptu DigitalFl00d party that I want to become straight edge again. Not because I had a bad drinking experience. No, it’s not because I think things are out of control. It’s just I’m tired of alcohol. Thus I think my overall mid-life crisis with alcohol passes without much ado about anything. I’ve grown bored with certain things. Things I don’t need. So like dead leaves those things fall off. Two things consume me. Primarily being a father. I have become even more hard pressed to continue to be dedicated 150% to my daughter at all times. Secondary, to work hard to continue to prosper to insure her successful future. I have begun to fine tune the songs I’ve been working on. The rap thing seems to be slipping away, but whatever it is that I am creating is all that much better. I will not seek to define it other than mind blowing.