May 28, 2002: [•] Everything has been pretty darn crapp-a-licious lately. I don’t even know where to begin complaining and besides do you really need another web master blabbing about his personal life? I’ll spare you the details and simply cut to the chase: Life has not been peachy lately and it’s really starting to get to me. This whole misery/depression thing must be contagious because everyone I know is stuck with it (including yours truly). A lot of stuff has gone on in my life lately that has complicated other things. These other things include my personal life in general. I don’t really like to talk too much about personal stuff here (I made a pledge a long time ago not to in order to avoid conflicts, misunderstandings, etc…). What I would like to talk about here though is about the concept of WYSIWYG. WYSIWYG is an acronym for “what you see, is what you get”. For all intents this should make tasks 1.) Easier, since you know what the outcome will be. 2.) Improve accuracy during task development. 3.) Allow fine tuning and editing over time to solve new issues and add new information as it arrives. Life is definitely not WYSIWYG. I have found this out the hard way. The hard way, in general, sucks. You would think that what everyone is telling you is true in life, but it isn’t. In fact I would venture to say that 95% of what people tell you everyday is “sugar coated” to make issues more palatable. No one is telling you the truth all the time. I’m sorry if you didn’t want to hear it, but the truth hurts and this time I’m not sugar coating it at all. When a loved one lies to you it is even worse. Ten fold. Maybe a hundred fold. I myself can’t particularly rate it. I’m not a very good at folding 🙂 The point is it hurts big time and it takes awhile to heal this sort of stuff. When a loved one lies to you, you go through several stages: Anger, denial, frustration, fear/confusion, etc… Your brain basically takes time to sort through all the horrid information it is forced to handle and at times may even shut down under sheer stress. This is a very scary time in particular. The shut down of the brain manifests in two common forms: 1.) Depression- A state where your brain reverts to its primal form and operates on very self-destructive urges without logic being applied first. 2.) Mental Breakdown- Your brain literally shuts itself down due to the emotional overload of a situation in order to save itself from depression or self-destruction. Sometimes both happens. Sometimes just one. But always, at least one will occur if not for at least a brief period of time. If you make it through this you’re in the clear (as they say). If it was only that easy though. There is days, weeks, etc… that go by until the situation not only is simply resolved, but the healing process finally takes away the layers of pain created by the original infraction. Any relationship though in life worth having requires that you persevere not only in the times of good, but in the times of confusion too. I guess the point is that I’ve learned many things in life and recently I’ve grown up a little more. What I once thought would be the end of the world has turned out to be another chance for me to learn a little more about life, love, and the idea of what this all means. Growing up: It’s almost a four letter word. Well, actually it’s a nine letter phrase, but lets not be picky. 🙂
